To miss someone so deeply...

This is a blog post of a more personal note. One of great loss. This time of year is always one of great sadness. I lost my father a few years ago around this time and as much as I try to stay positive as I'm sure he'd want me to be it's so hard. I spent years trying to get to him for him to die only a few years after I moved to be closer to him.

So some thoughts on great loss and this does not necessarily refer to those in the afterlife this can be people still living.

Have you ever missed someone so deeply you re-live every moment with them almost to the point of wondering are you obsessed?

The feeling of loss that comes with the remembrance of once was is nearly as painful as if you lost a limb. Often thoughts of wishing for amnesia would happen as to not have to remember what one had and lost. The saying so true rings forever in your head "You don't know what you have until you lose it". There is no solace for the loss. There are some losses that even time does not weaken. You would think after a few years it would get easier. Sadly, no this at least in my case has not been true. The feeling of a lost soul mate is so deep that it's terribly painful. To see the photos of the person to feel their soul touching yours but not being able to communicate is a most horrifying experience.

I try to not think of these things for one cannot change how others feel or those who've died to bring them back. We must accept what life has delt us, although this does not make it any easier to cope. There aren't enough support groups in the world to help one thorugh this.

It's a personal battle...

I find no matter how distracted I try to make myself still my mind doesn't let go as if the other soul is trying to reach out to me over the vastness of space. That's what makes this difficult, being one that is empathetic in nature that of the 6th sense type. To FEEL another soul.. not just know of its existence to have felt, mingled, been drawn into another soul so deeply. That's the loss that shakes you to your very core. To not have that soul so near anymore, no contact etc. I truly hope these feelings don't last forever because eternity longing for another soul is truly painful and worse than Hell I'd imagine. So for any of you out there who may have lost someone dear to you, so dear that it's hard to imagine no contact with them I feel your pain.

My best advice is to send positive thoughts their way. Take each day a bit at a time, try to keep positive thoughts and remember everything happens for a reason. If it were meant to be that you'd be with the other person or them still living then they would be or there would find a way. This is hard to accept as we humans being quite rebellious in nature. Perhaps that's the lesson here... how much not in control of our fate we are.. there's a path for us to take depending on what we choose there are still paths. Not saying everything is set in stone there is still free will however, we as humans seem to end up in some state that was meant to bed either way. We can take the direct course or the long one how we get there is our business.

Don't let loss rule your life, don't let it overpower who you are. Remember who you are and don't let loss define you. Loss does change a person but how it changes us is up to us!

"What doesn't kill us makes us stronger"